


Interlude

by Parakupto (BrittleStar)



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Bullying, Eating Disorders, Gen, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-03
Updated: 2012-07-03
Packaged: 2017-11-09 02:46:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/450405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrittleStar/pseuds/Parakupto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A few missing years</p>
            </blockquote>





	Interlude

You are cold – you are sitting in a bathtub full of hot water and you are freezing. But that doesn't matter, you are marveling at your fingers and hands and your wrists and arms that suddenly aren't that stubby at all anymore, your stomach that now curves inwards and it doesn't matter either that your lips will turn blue as soon as you are getting out of that hot water. When did it start? You're not sure, but it is some sort of personal freedom that you haven't ever had before. Your mother might still be able to control which clothes you wear, make you take an umbrella with you whereever you go, but it has become damn difficult for her to control if you put food between those blue lips or not.

The other children in your school, those in your neighbourhood – of course they haven't stopped taunting you, there is probably nothing in the world that can. But she, one of the quieter ones who doesn't openly point and laugh, a bit shorter even than you are, has given you a compliment – though you don't even really know if it _is_ a compliment - has said ”You don't actually look so bad, with that dark hair and blue eyes, if only you didn't have such a pointy nose.” and that's an accomplishment too, right?

Your teachers have started looking at you funny, the school nurse has been asking: ”How old are you, twelve, thirteen? _Fifteen_ already! You are not going to grow anymore if you don't eat, you already are so short for your age, don't you _want_ to grow any taller?” Sure you do, but you don't tell her, just like you don't tell her about the dizzy spells, or the freezing, and definately not about that the sight in your right eye seems to be going.

Their mocking voices as you walk down the corridors seem to have changed ever so slightly during the last few weeks, as if their owners have become unsure of something, as if they don't entirely know what to say anymore. You might have caught a mumbled ”Guess it's a bad year for penguins just now”, but if you are honest, those voices are starting to have a really hard time penetrating the fog in your head these days.

Some little part of you, watching from the back of your head, can see that viewing this as a way out is skewed, but if this isn't it, what is? And what is it to them if you're gone?

 

**Author's Note:**

> In one of the versions of Oswald's backstory (though most Penguin-backgrounds done (apart from the Burton movie) seem to be quite similar, which is nice), namely the ”Secret Origins” from 1989 he is last shown tormented by the bully gang looking to be around the age of maybe ten, at the very most twelve, then there is a huge gap and he turns up something like 18 – 20 years old, has been training martial arts (and honestly looks it as well at that point), beating up his head tormentor, Sharkey, all while wearing a monocle that has suddenly turned up.  
> That leaves a rather large ”what-happened-inbetween?” Eating disorders are not always a sign of ”wanting to disappear” in people who have too high demands on themselves. The refusal to eat can be a sign of taking control where you feel that you have no control at all over what is happening to you in your home, your school or any of tour current environments really – in his situation it is the one thing he can take control of really. And at the same time it can be a big ”fuck you” particularly from children, teens or even adults who get mocked because of being chubby or fat: You want me thin? I'll give you thin then!  
> Ironically people who have starved themselves extremely under longer periods of their lives or even just been yoyo dieting a lot are at a high risk of being overweight later in their lives - if they ever manage to recover, and that's by no means a given.  
> Between the end of my story and the continuation in the comic are still a few years, and training like crazy can also be an expression of taking control of your own body and situation, and (certainly often but not always) a healthier one. I am not sure when exactly self-destructive action would turn into a more active way of dealing with his tormentors, but I am leaving that open.


End file.
